


Hulk's Memories

by margarks



Series: Silent Words [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Internal Monologue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margarks/pseuds/margarks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hulk remembers waking. He doesn't think he can say he was born, he just… was.</p><p>*Warnings: I upped the rating only because I mention the suicide attempt Banner talked about in the movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hulk's Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This series was originally going to be how the rest of the team thought of Hulk, but it's turned into how Hulk thinks of, well, everything. The whole thing is basically a character study of Hulk. 
> 
> Even though Bruce and Betty are briefly mentioned, this fic and this series is about Hulk, so he's the only one I listed under the character's tag.

Hulk remembers waking. He doesn't think he can say he was born, he just… was. 

The first thing Hulk knows is fear. The second is anger. The fear is Banner's. The anger is Hulk's. He does not like Banner's fear. Does not like the bad men who make Banner run, make Banner hurt. Hulk doesn't understand how, but he knows there is Hulk and there is Banner. He knows that they are the same, but not. And he knows that he woke because Banner needed him.

 _Run, run, run,_ Banner shouts in Hulk's head and Hulk does.

Hulk is angry because Banner is afraid. Because Banner wants to run and hide, pictures of a different Bad Man in his head making Banner grow smaller and smaller inside Hulk. Banner's fear makes the anger burn inside Hulk, makes him want to smash and destroy and show Banner that Hulk will defend, that Hulk will protect.

For a long time there is just Banner. Then there is Betty. 

Banner is sad. Happy, but sad… Mostly sad. For the first time Banner feels almost the same as Hulk. Protective and angry, angry, angry. Bad men hurt Betty and Hulk knows that protecting Banner means protecting Betty, too. Hulk tries to tell Banner that he understands this, that hurting Betty hurts Banner. But even in his own head, Hulk can't find the right words. 

Then it is just Hulk and Banner again.

Hulk watches and waits as Banner moves them from one place to another. Sometimes the bad men come and Hulk saves them. Sometimes Banner thinks of Betty, thinks of _home_. Hulk thinks home is confusing because it is not always the same place in Banner's head. But Banner always feels the same when he thinks of it. Sad. Sad and wanting.

Hulk wants to help Banner. Wants to take the sad away, but he doesn't know how. Then the sad gets bigger and bigger and bigger until Hulk thinks there's almost no room left even for him. So Hulk bursts free and smashes the puny thing Banner thought could help the sad. 

And Hulk is angry, so angry at Banner. He wants to smash him for thinking that Hulk would let anything or anyone hurt Banner. He roars and roars and smashes everything around him instead. Hulk wants to tell Banner that he is stupid, that he will not hurt ever because Hulk will stop him always. But Banner doesn't hear or doesn't listen. So, Hulk smashes and smashes and smashes until he's too tired to smash anymore. 

After that, they keep moving, and Hulk thinks maybe, maybe Banner did hear him a little. Hulk watches more carefully now, but Banner doesn't try to hurt again even though the sad is still there. 

Then the Widow lady comes and the sad changes. Hulk doesn't have the words for it, but it's a tired kind of sad and something else. He doesn't know and he's not sure if it is good or bad. Then Banner sees the cage and Hulk feels sad, too. Banner calls Hulk a monster and the Widow lady and the One-eyed man believe him. 

Later, Banner is angry at the Widow lady's lies. He is angry at her for bringing them here, angry at her for being afraid of Banner and Hulk. And when Banner is hurt Hulk is angry, too. It is Widow lady's fault. Hulk knows Widow lady lies, so it makes him even angrier when she promises to protect Banner. It is Hulk's job to protect, and Hulk never lies. Not like Widow lady.

Hulk doesn't stop to think. Widow lady hurt Banner. Hulk hurt Widow lady. 

When the Hammer man comes, Hulk is still angry. Banner is small inside him, but the anger is big. Big as Hulk. Hammer man says to think, says he does not want to fight Hulk. But Hulk remembers the One-eyed man's cage, remembers the bad men that make Banner run, and he does not listen to Hammer man's words. And when the little ship comes with the familiar stinging pain, Hulk knows he is right.

And then Hulk is falling.


End file.
